Mary selected the Andrew Low House as the location of her photo for the membership directory. The flounce in October was one of the most diverse and unpredictable ones we have ever had. We meet the producer of a local movie.  We eat the pirates house olive puff Queen Ann brought along and we had hot dogs at a new deli on Broughton. The ones of Ann and her girls and of me and mine will follow very soon.

Planning for November 11 is going well.  I know the Arty Party is that night so lots of MJQs will miss the photo shoot with Kelsey.  Honestly lots missed Mary’s, too! The core group will flounce on and be the visual presence of Queendom in Savannah for the group.  Never fear.  

I can not believe it.  After months of waiting and months of wondering, the Morning Glory decided to bloom.  My dear husband, says, “Ye of little faith.”   I answer, “I had just gotten used to accepting its green leaves and its vines.  That was all I was ever going to get.  Seeing it. Accepting it.  Just a beautiful green vine.  And now it is so much more.  Wow.” That bloom is the Crown on the vine of life.

Goodness.  There’s an analogy hanging outside my window.  I can look up from the computer screen and see the plant whispering to me and the blossom yelling at me.  No, not yelling.  Yelling is way to loud and not flower-y.    It is a yell!  Yes, but it is a happy yell.  Like when you accidentally run into an old friend at the  airport that you have not seen in years, they squeal and yell out your name and run to you.  That kinda’ yell.  It is there to tell me to keep going.  Believe in goodness. Believe in beauty and believe in FUN.  Plus keep on writing.  Write because it is fun , (and goodness, I need that. )

Stephen says it is a sign. I started writing in May.  A collection.  An experiential collection of MJQ observations and stuff.  It was going to be one thing and it started turning into another.  It is my meandering green vine. 

Hurry up and bloom.  This vine thing is getting unruly. The voiceinmyhead is impatient.  It will bloom in its own time and I will find time to write when I find time to write. 

Oh good-ness! Now you are going all Zen on me. Fine.  I will shut up.  Good.  Give me some peace. 

Maybe I am the blossom.  What about that???  Did you ever think of that, Miss Queen-ie Smart-y pants?  We are the bloom and the crazy f*in vine climbing everywhere and making no promises. 

I am. You are. We are?  I mean, I am?  Yep.  C’est moi.   The voiceinmyhead wishes I spoke French. 

No hell I don’t.  You use too many pronouns for that mess.  And all the verb conjugation?  I am just happy you got this morning glory vine analogy crap behind us. I was about to sprout something ugly if it continued.  

(click for the BIG image)

So when we Flounced on October 8th, I was disappointed for a whole host of reasons.  All of them due to my dashed expectations.  To my mood and my lack of patience.  I still cannot get fake eyelashes on my darn eyes.  That is an exaggeration.  I can do it, IF and only if I have 30 extra minutes to deal with the glue and the placement and the eyeliner and the misery when the glue gets in the rim of my eye and I have to start over from square one.  Plus, add in the fact that I wear contacts and that complicates the mistakes when the glue does seep around past the eyelash base.  Oh you do care about that. I am just telling you to give you one tiny little window into the experience of that night. 

When we arrived at Ellis Square there was a freak show going one.  At least that is how I thought of it, since it not only looked like a carnival sideshow show, but it smelled like one, too.  The eau d’ horses’ urine and the cigarette smoke really destroy the ambiance.  Maybe next flounce I will pack a small travel size Diorissimo or Miss Dior Cheri.  The nosegay from the Victorian era is becoming a concept that I may embrace, now that I think about it…

Anyway, the show included a couple.  A man and a women who were fighting.  Or at least I thought so.  I thought so until I got closer and heard the guy tell the lady (right after he almost hit her and she fell to the ground) to “Just lay there. “  She did.  He told her, “Just lay there and be still. “  She did it some more.  Then she would bounce up and do a Karate Kid kick and they would circle each other sparring and hitting the air.  The she would fall and “just lay there.” 

I start feeling a tad dizzy from the obvious lack of charm that we are surrounded by.  The commoners were not just commoners.  They were extra common,  commoners. 

I love waving to the commoners and they love us, but I have decided Ellis Squareon Saturday night is too much like Bourbon Street.  Too tourista.  So the tourist element, at this time and at this location was not the level of tourist one finds in say…Charleston.  It was the River Street and Bourbon Street level of experience.  Not Royalty worthy.

But to return to the good thing that I am grabbing holt of.  (Yes.  I said it. Grabbin’ Holt of. It is a saying).  The freak show couple was not a really fighting and they were not paid actors.  The producer guy, Chip who come up and told us he was filming in Ellis Square had not hired the Fighting Couple to add color to his film, “Untouched.” After researching his name, I saw on his blog that he had found out the couples’ name and they were just being silly. So I have hope for his film. 

The Fighting Couple was completely on their own. They were free agents acting out their own peculiar fantasy in the middle of Ellis Square, just like the MJQs were.  So when I critique the fantasy, which I love doing by the way, all I can say is this, “Be Royal.  Wear chiffon. Spread Joy.  If you can’t do all three, do one of them. What are y’all spreading?” Looked to me like they were just spreading cra-zee….

(Queen Mary, 2004 Founding Member on the trolley after her photo shoot at the Andrew Low House)

I do not know the exact answer to this question.  I do know the world needs more laughter, more joy, and simply put, more FUN.  October 8th was a fun time.  It was not what I expected, which these gathering never ever are!  Honestly the MJQs are not the group that I thought it would become.  When we started this “club” (and I use that word very loosely)…when we started this “women’s only” club in 2004, I had visions of it being a vehicle for to me find dozens of like-minded, party loving, character creating, slightly outrageous, costume wearing, silly and fabulous girlfriends who would gather in one big ol’ loud party and romp through Savannah.  A Ya-Ya Sisterhood.  A Sweet Potato Queens thing. 

My expectation and my need for dear friends who love being Queens and returning to the childlike wonder of wearing swishy dresses drove my desire to keep this group a different kind of “club.”  I have learned to see  it for what it is and at times I still forget.  So I am reminding myself right now.  It is a group of diverse interests, diverse needs, diverse likes and dislikes.  One lady’s definition of a Fun Event is sitting talking to one queen all night long.  One Queen’s idea of a fabulous time is visiting MJQs over a light lunch and then returning home to children and husband.  Another needs to dress up in wild attire and is a driving force of Royalness, while yet another lady absolutely hates dressing up and does not like calling attention to herself. 

The Membership Directory Project is turning out to be different than my original expectations, too.  Just the way the MJQs themselves have formed a group that is unique, personal, and encompassing many different personalities.  The Project I started this year in June was to be a wonderful adventure of our escapades during the next 12 months.  I saw it happening with bubbling enthusiasm and excitement, as each MJQ had her photo made for the Membership directory.  I imagined each queen supporting the others when they had their turn to have a photo shoot .  I was projecting my needs onto the group again.  Silly me!

Today I am looking at a morning glory vine.  I see it outside my kitchen window.  Grown from seeds back in May, its seed packet advertised a glorious array of sky blue blossoms.  All summer I have looked at that big crawling vine and wondered what I could do to make it bloom.  Bloom, darn you! BLOOM!  It refused.  I have searched Google and asked gardeners.  Every time I look at it, the voice in my head says,”Why is that thing not blooming? What can you do to make it bloom?”  The vine coming out of the ground is the size of my thumb and the leaves are lush and tropical, all hanging in a thick canopy on the corners of the porch.

Today I see that I need to love the leaves for their beauty, for the shade, the texture and the simple greenness they add to the brown of the trellis, much the way I need to accept the Queens and the group for what it is.  It may not be packed with show stopping blossoms, but it is truly a miracle plant to have grown so much and to be so incredibly happy in the heat and humidity of Savannah hottest summer. The Queens are my morning glory.  Wonderful.

This does not mean however, that I have stopped looking for Blossoms on the Morning Glory. I just know I can’t make it bloom if it does not want to, any more than I can make the Queens be excited and enthusiastic if they do not want to be. We still need 5-10 new MJQs to keep the group growing and healthy.

A Flounce and Tiara Time on Saturday is a much deserved break from the everyday.  Good-ness, I need that…Plus Mary’s photo shoot and maybe the Jr mints photo…

This Membership Directory and Calendar project is going to be wonderful. I hope.

So the Membership Project is continuing in a way I am surprised about.  Actually I am so cynical I am not that surprised, but frankly I had expected a little more enthusiasm.  Just a really teeny tiny small bit more. But that requires buy-in and buckets of Royal energy of which, we as a group are suffering from a shortage.  Oh well, we do have a core group.  Thank God for that! 

The core group of outrageous, laughing, joyous MGQs will represent in Savannah. Represent-Represent Represent-Savannah!  Of 30 MJQs, we have 7 who will be attending the flounce on Saturday.  They will bring 5 Jr. Mints. Mary will have her photo made and we will get on the trolley. A few Core group members will miss it, and are deeply saddened that they are not available.  (If you are a Fun Queen, a Key Queen, or part of Core group, you know who you are. Wink Wink nudge-nudge. This blog post is not about you, dear.) 

The excuses I have heard remind me of the party Leslie Ballenger designed the invitation for way back in 2006 I believe it was.  The “Not a Good Time of Year to have a party, Party.”  Then, as now I find the same problems and the same success.  I have found out over the years who loves being a Queen and who does not!  I have seen people stay in the group for years and not attend a thing. (I have had one dear Queen TRY to quit because she felt she did not fit in and was too busy, but I am too selfish to let her quit.  So I paid her dues and she is in.)

I have discovered who is always willing to try something fun (Dottie) and who will rain on the parade.  I have learned what excuses people rely on to avoid doing anything.  And unfortunately, I have learned that no matter what balance of cash value the Treasury has in the Royal Bank, we need more cash. 

Thankfully, I would write a check everyday of the week for a chance to laugh, so donning a tiara and chiffon is a priceless experience and I am truly fortunate to have the disposable income to throw at the evening.  Hell-o!  It is really a bargain.  For a mere One hundred dollars I can plan a Queens’ event.

So even though we have a dues requirement, (which I wish we had not even put into place), I have learned that you can spend thousands on a party or nothing on a party and the level of success in totally, completely, utterly, irrevocably, (any more -ly words?) linked to the level of enthusiasm of the Attending Queens.  So having seen that, I challenge each MJQ (each Queen Who frankly my dear, Gives a damn) to find one human being…preferably female, who possesses a deep vein of joy and energy and loves being Royal. 

I want at least 5 new MQS by next year, but I have always asked for that and it does not happen.  Why?  Because you have to have that sparkle to see it in others.  You have to CULTIVATE that in yourself or it will wither and die.  If You really start thinking that you can’t possibly be seen in a costume dress out in public, because “What would people think?”   When you start being concerned about what people think when you are simply having a tad bit bit of innocent fun, then just close the coffin, honey.  Close the damn coffin!  It is over. Or at least, your love of youth, innocence, frivolity and swishing about in great skirts of happiness is over.   Close the coffin on your reign as Queen.    

Now you may say, “Queen Erica, You sound like you are being too critical of people who have found their joy somewhere else.  They have other demands.  Other interests.  Other Friends. Maybe the MJQs are just not fun for them. What is the matter with that?’ 

My answer, dear one, is, “That is the point!”   They HAVE found their joy with other interests and other friends.  If the MJQs never see you and you never participate, why are you in this group?  If it is not fun?  What are you doing?  The core group will party on with or without those missing Queens, but why pretend to care?  Why even be in the group at all?  Become a retired Queen.  Label yourself a sustain-er. 

But if you tell me you are a member, and I plan a get together, I figure you might, (right around the time hell is cooling off a few degrees,) you might grace us with your presence and then some of the younger Key Queens will come up to me at the party and ask “Who is that lady over there?  Is SHE a Queen?  I have never seen her.”   We have a hand full of ladies who never come to anything. EVER.  If we have not seen you at an event in a 2 years period…you are too busy.  If you have not attended a flounce in 3-4 years, you need to retire.  I am not your mother and I will not just kick you out of the group.  That is not my job. 

Which brings me to the one of the myriad of reasons the Membership Directory is in need.  If you claim to be a Queen, you at the very least should know who the other queens are.  Maybe not know their darn NAME.  That would be asking too much.  But you should be able to look over at someone and know that they are a member of our group. So if you never attend a function, you are required, (Yes, I said It!)  Required to participate this year when we plan a photo shoot for YOU. So your darn picture can be in the directory. Crazy as it seems. 

And no!  Do not hire your own photographer.  This is NOT a competition to see who can take the best photo.  That is one thing we do not do: Compete with each other.  It is not going to be at your home. I have hired someone to do all the images so it will have a cohesive look and we will not get into competitive photography.  It will be in Public Downtown, or goodness maybe at Tybee (and definitely at Wormsloe because Emma called it first.)

(opps. ) I feel another rant coming on.  On the nature of female relationships and the combative thread that all people innately possess and the one-ups-manship and how we need to stop trying to out-do each other. Stop trying to be the top dog and compete on every darn thing in every location in every moment, in the world and in our community and at schools…And why do I have to send out 4 emails?  FOUR to get people to RSVP and some still have not Responded.  Really.  If I mail an invitation the same thing happens.  Mail OR email; it is the same story.  So how do I plan a party if I can not get a proper count of who is in and who is out? 

I think we need 60 damn Queens so we will have a core group of 20 who can a party at any given time.  20 is a good number for a party downtown and to get 20 in attendance, we need 60 MJQs. And where in the world do we find 30 more queens to join.  This is not the Ya-Yas or the Sweet Potatoes. Hell-o! They only had a core group of 5 or 6 . AND the Ya-Yas where are all fictional friends and do were the Sweet Potato Queens. That is mission impossible right there.  This is crazy that you can’t find enough great Royalty lovers to be part of this.Enough friends who enjoy this kind of thing.  Darn they do not have to even BE friends.  Just ladies who like being silly.  How many times to you have to go over this stuff?  You are like a dog with a bone.  Just let it be what it is.  What it is.  Be what it is…opps.  This rant is beginning to give me a tad bit of headache.  I better stop now and have a cup of something. Something to calm my nerves.  Tea?  Sure. It is rather early in the morning. Tea will have to do. Big Rants are always followed by Tea. Or a martini, I forget which…