Big Black X


Addendum 2014

Members, You may leave the group at any time.  Just send me a note.  No announcements— no big deal.

Prospective Members, “Want to join in the fun?”

The ONLY way to join the group is to get an invitation from an active MJQ member and show up with a fun-loving attitude.  Attend at least three parties as your sponsor’s guest!

If after the first party you attend, a Queen gives said Lady in Waiting a Big Black X, then rest assured, the lady will not be asked to join us a Mint Julep Queen and will remain a Friend of Queen or Queen of her very own realm.  No need to explain or fret. That’s life. If we can’t stand being in the same room as said lady, then she does not need to be invited to more than one party, anyway.


LIWs: Do not come to party and spend the entire evening talking to one Queen to the exlusion of meeting others. Do not come to party and spend the evening trying to pick up men at the bar. Do not bring your husband.  Do not bring a friend.  Be Royal, not a Royal pain.

Suggested Behavior for Ladies in Waiting:

Thank the MJQs for the invitation to attend an event as a lady in waiting.  Talk to lots of Queens!  Say several times how much fun you are having.  Gush a tad bit about how much you would love wearing a tiara.  Be authentic!  Ask how you can join.  Wear something Royal. Show no fear; show only show joy and a willingness to laugh.  Do not be a spoiled Diva. Be humble!  Be charming!  Be your regular fun self.

Wear jewels in your hair at your own risk.  Wearing a tiara before becoming an MJQs may be ill-advised. Big sparkles are for MJQs.  Headbands and sparkle are fine.  No crowns or tiara until you join our group. It confuses the commoners.

Carry a green umbrella if it rains, and you know in Savannah we can control lots of things but the weather is not one of them.  Rain or shine, humidity or scorching heat, if an event is planned go, if at all possible.  If after several tries, if you don’t come to any party you are invited to attend, we will stop inviting you and nothing you can say will give you another chance.


Important Rule Update: A Hypothetical Scenario

Let’s say an MJQ has an enthusiast lady friend who is just dying to get into the group.  Let’s say, (just for discussion purposes),  she is invited by that MJQ to attend 3 or more parties. This Friend of a Queen comes (hypothetically ) to 3 or more parties and had fun and is totally enthusiastic and appropriate.  In other words, the Lady in Waiting does not get falling down drunk and vomit on anyone or anything.  She is regal and polite.  She is socially appropriate.  You might not adore her, but there is not much else that you can say other than that.

We do encourage simple silliness and a level of royal frivolity that exudes Savannah Charm.  If any Lady in Waiting, who’s a dear friend of some Queen receives so many invitations to come to party after party and the LIW attends party after party, then she WILL be extended an invitation to join our group.  (And I do not give a flying rat’s ass whether you like her or not.  She is invited to join our group.)

Every single person, (MJQs and myself included) has moments of being down right rude.  Yes. I know I have been.  And so have you, whether you know it or not. The Royal goal is to try hard to be kind, tolerant, and thoughtful. Playing dress-up is what we do, remember?

In closing:  We will most definitely exclude someone if they are mean, hateful, out of control, a legal liability, a total pain in the butt or just a lying, cheating, miserable, human being, but to exclude someone for your assertion that they are too high maintenance or that for some reason you do not like them?   “I do not like so and so”  …does not fly as a vote.  MJQs must have valid reason not to extend an invitation to a LIW.   Valid reasons, do exist, however. If you have a valid reason that a lady should not join our group, voice your concern.  Do not wait until the lay has attended several events.  Do not wait!

The Lady in Waiting’s Enthusiasm wins over a profound lack of initiative by any MJQ.  Show enthusiasm and you will win friends and influence people.  The life lesson is this: Positive energy and Persistence can sway anyone.