Judgement is different than criticism, isn’t it?  Or is it?  Honest critiques are not judgmental, are they?  Well, as I consider the landscape of intolerant humans out there in the world, there are a handful of folks who are pretty quick to judge the Mint Julep Queens, or anyone at all who enjoys wearing a costume and a crown for fun.

“That is down right silly,” they will whisper to each other.

Sometimes, they turn to their spouse and instruct, “I hope, my dear  you never go out of the house wearing a get-up like those wild women.”

They ask,  ”What is that crazy big chiffon dress, huge rhinestone tiara, and beauty pageant sash about? Lawd.  They look silly.  Who in the world would ever in a million years dress like that for fun? God!  If they knew how silly they looked, they would never prance about like that!”  *Huff- Huff and sneer*

Well, honey baby,  I love it.  Being a princess, running about the house with a construction paper cone and attached long veil helped me channel Leslie Anne Warren—  ”Alone in my corner, in my own little chair, I can be whatever I want to be.”  So why stop playing, just because I am a tad bit older?

I will not judge you, if you do not judge me, how ’bout it?  Do we have ourselves’ a deal?   I mean, look at the dress you are wearing. And what about the Brooks Brothers suit on you, dear sir?  Does anyone ever smile with joy when you walk into a room? Do little children run up to you and hug your legs?  Do grown women ask you, “Oh my! Where in the world did you buy that wonderful dress and that spectacular tiara?”  Do men ever come over to you, slap you on the back and say, “Man, you look like a king in that button down.”

Your cute white sandals and Lily Pulitzer dress with the green scuba diving monkeys is…what?  It is a pink sea.  There are cartoon monkeys riding seahorses, also.  I know you spent a chunk of change on that look, and honey baby, it is—well.  I will say it.  It is not my cup of tea.  It is fine as wine, but I would never wear it.  Nor would I like my daughter to wear it.  And by the way, your husband never pretended to be a princess, nor did he wield a sword and fight dragons as a child, so how would he understand my pleasure in re-creating this Royal facet of myself– of my soul and heart?!  He would not.  Most men who understood the role of Knight when they were mere tikes, totally understand the Mint Julep Queens.

When our Newly Crowned Queens and Ladies in Waiting meet someone who understands the group, they find minimal explanation is needed.   Women and men who gush, grin and gaffaw usually celebrate the playful aspects of life, always have, and always will.

Those who snark, envy, condemn, or otherwise suggest that you are a wild-ass rebel and foolish non-conformist and somehow totally look down there noses at you because you are a mess…well.   Try not to judge them, Highnesses.   Really.  It is hard.  But try.  Just think of green monkeys swimming in a pink sea.  It is not your cup of tea, nor is playing dress-up theirs.   Flounce off. Avoid the negative energy. For every judgment, you will find a dozens, and I mean dozens more strangers who adore you, and adore us, the Mint Julep Queens.  Encourage all people to be playful again.  Encourage young children to never stop playing.   And, Highnesses,  just let the monkeys be and the sea be pink.

There are so many ways to add glitter to your stuff.  Glue it.  Spray it.  Paint it.  Pin it. Bedazzle it.  Stitch it.  Wear it.  Seems whenever I run into Lady Elizabeth, she always has some random glitter dusting her face, an unintentional marker of her zest for life and infectious joy.   Queen Kim will actually glittercize her Converse prior to a parade.  When it comes to adding emotional sparkle to your heart and soul, that is a different DYI project and can be a much more difficult challenge.

Just like a needle pierces a cloth with a thread as crystal beads and shiny sequins are attached, the sharp point that sometimes hits me is anxiety, doubt, and misery.  Or depending on the type of massively crappy day I just had, a simple sourness that life is too darn hard; there is too much dadgum hate in the world, my house is a wreck, and nobody told me I had spinach in my teeth, because I have no friends.  That hot tub of sorrow can cause premature wrinkling, plus it interferes with enthusiasm and without enthusiasm, being Queen is near about impossible.

All of the Mint Julep Queens love playing dress-up.  Anytime we have an excuse to perch a tiara on our Royal heads, we jump at the chance.  Anytime.  All the time.  Honest.  Anytime at all,  we will prance about with rhinestones in our hair, except when we can’t.   And when we can’t, I promise you, there is a crisis in the kingdom, a fly in the ointment, a stone thrower at the gates.  When rotten stuff happens and wearing a happy face, (not to mention a crown) feels like an imposition, give yourself time to re-group.  Stay at home and watch “You’ve Got Mail” and practice being perky in the face of unhappiness.  I find that Meg Ryan helps, so does not kicking yourself for being a bit blue.

Depending on the depth of the blueness, pulling out the glitter pen to journal a few thoughts can rescue me.  Or a nap.  Queens like naps.   But dear, if you are fortunate enough to see the Mint Julep Queens out and about, each wearing a dazzle-tastic tiara and darling sash with emerald green flocked letters that proclaim MINT JULEP QUEEN, you must know that everyone of us is shining with enthusiasm in our hearts.  We are celebrating be alive, being female, and being spirited enough to never grow so old that we stop playing dress-up.

Do not be fooled, though.  In person,  we may very well present a picture of Regal perfection to our public, that does not mean that we have perfect lives.  That does not mean we don’t fight our own battles, slaying our own dragons of doubt, fear, misery, and visible panty lines.    When the MJQs make a public appearance, you can assume that each female decided to make time in her otherwise busy, challenging, confusing, fabulous, messy, grace-filled life to be Queen, if only for a few hours.