“Stop acting like such a princess!!!  “My God.  She is such a Queen Diva. ” “She thinks everything is all about her.  What a —-” Judgements and criticisms of fellow females is harsh.  Out inner voices do the same thing. If you think it is only harsh in middle school, you have not hung out with many all-grown-up women.  Ladies who relentlessy criticize others are often their own worst critic. Women can cut you to shreds.   And when I say “they,” I include ME in that list.  Do something to hurt my family or insult me and —– KA-BAMMM!. My anger has been known to activate to nuclear levels  is zero to three seconds  and the radioactive fall-out has been know to be horrific.  Lately I am much more pragmatic after an explosion, though. I attribute all the peace and acceptance settling into my bones just as the dust of my anger settles to serveral things.  Faith-based practice and accepting that, indeed,  I can not change people!  Having a great therapist to remind me, “We don’t do Perfect!”  Lastly,  achieving  more empathy is likely part of being older…shoot …Well darn-shoot!  Do you have to bring that crap up?  Is that really part of it?  Turning fifty-something is it?  I am older and wiser, B.S.   You ain’t some old matron of homespun wisdom.  I can hear it now, “Honey! Through the years I has learned not to give people the power to ruin a perfectly good day.”  Then she shuffles off to shell  butter-beans and gossip about the church secretary who is having an affair with her urologist.  See, old ladies get a pass about anything.  Trying to work that angle, are we…?  *mutter* The voiceinmyhead hates for me to bring up age, but My Dear, Southern Belle mother who is +80 taught me to judge others.  Yes. TO JUDGE.  Attire was labeled:  sweet, nice, proper, polished, tacky, trashy, outlandish.  A person’s manner were assessed: bossy, horsey, trashy, snobbish, down-to-earth, nouveau riche, ostentatious, well-bred, well-reared, home spun, eccentric, Yankee.  Style was described:  ostentatious, tasteful, old money, elegant, green-stamp store, horsey,  Yankee, Country, uneducated, poor, showy, tacky.  At eighty something, she still is one tough critic.  One day she hugged my 11 year old daughter good-bye and said, ” I love you so much. Even with you wearing that tacky nail polish.”  Just so you know, it was marigold yellow.  No chips. Now you may think that since I am over 50 that this infulence and rearing would have fallen by the wayside.  It has to an extent, but I still fight the impulse.  Sitting in judgement of everyone, but yourself is so darn easy.  And frankly so very entertaining.  Truth be known, The Queens fear being talked about, too. As the MJQs reconstitute and add new members, I am considering re-writing a mission statement for the Queens.  Almost ten years ago, I thought the simple statement “Royal Fun” was enough of a tag-line to give full understanding and purpose to the group.  Playing dress-up, creating a Regal character and spreading good-will while dressed in day-glo chiffon and rhinestone tiara was Royal Fun.  For me it was.  Others saw it just as  a group to hang out out with and go drinking with.  Good.  But it is about Ruling my realm with joy and fearless abandon.   When I am Queen,  Rhinestones happen.   Glitter spreads.  Toile wraps me in Joy. I am slaying criticism and learning to walk my path in my way.  MY path includes being a Queen. Your path may or may not.  So—I want to reclaim the title.  Queen is not a dirty word. Princess is not an insult. Reign on! QUEEN ERICA

Have you ever started a project and sat staring at the plans, Oppenheimer -like?  You imagine the bomb that could explode if you do not neatly and cohesively tie up every loose thread?  Well, as Queen, I have been doing just that.  I am staring at the page today.  Ripping the Royal plans up.

Creating projects that were unrelated to the MJQs  has kept me busy for the last year. My fretfulness over  failures and successes of the group have been limited.  I have been too busy creating stuff to worry, but The Membership Directory proves to be just a exercise in flexibility–  just as the formation of the group has been since its inception in 2004.

In August 2011, Kim and Lee Ann had photos done at Cha Bella.  The Membership Directory and my grandiose plans of writing an accompanying book was off the ground.  Not with much fanfare or with Orville and Wilber Wright success, but dragging up off the floor .  You know how mylar helium balloons hover low after a day of leaking gas? Well,  like that.  I was going to use another metaphor to link with “leaking gas” but it did not sound very Regal.

In 2004 I  saw a different reality for the Queens.  I saw adventure, celebrations, silliness, dancing and joy.  I saw our ranks growing and our mission focussing on fun.  I saw the work on the Directory and my memoir the same way.

A couple of years ago, I felt a call to adventure and began the journey with those 2 photos and one chapter of the book under my belt, it seemed epic, until I had stumbling blocks, fear, criticism, tests and stresses disrupting the path.  The path was riddled with pit-falls.  It was also pot-marked with new opportunity.

Today, after finishing a self-study in creative writing,  as I read an archetype outline for the plan, I see a new path and a new journey opening up for me and for the Mint Julep Queens.  When one door closes, another opens.  Or is this case, when one drawbridge is shut, another lowers over a serpent filled moat and Reigning Queens have clear passage into the strong hold.   I am arming myself!

So when faced with an ordeal, be your own hero.  Put on your crown or tiara.  Grab a scepter or sword.   Storm the castle.  Even if the castle is made of stones of doubt and mortar of fear, attack.