Archive for October, 2010

Small Tattoo, Big Memory

Friday, October 29th, 2010

selia-tattoo11-4-2010.jpggettin-a-tattoo-11-4-2010.jpguma-2.jpgMy 50th is around the corner.  It makes me want to throw-up it is so old sounding.  I Have moments of feeling ancient and then a fleeting feeling of dizzy youngness.  The Voice in my head thinks it is probably just menopause messing with my chemistry.  I think it is facing my mortality.  I had breast cancer in May and a lumpectomy followed by 34 days of radiation.  Good, goodness ,there is nothing in the world like the “C” word to make you literally look at cemeteries in a whole new light.  I am lucky.  I found the lima bean size lump myself and had no lymph node involvement, so chemo was not order.  Either way, I feel like I am dealing with the post traumatic stress of the health issue.  I want to yell and scream and Dance my flat, skinny, saggy butt off in celebration.  Then I want to sit quietly and just stare at the tree in my backyard and try to connect with the beautiful creation and creator all around. 

So what do you do on our 5oth?  I plan to get a tattoo.  I got one when I turned 30 and when I turned 40.  There really is no such thing as a tasteful tattoo, but I never claimed to be tasteful is every aspect of my life. So.  There is it.  It is about me and about my making a big decade.  The ten years I just lived and the ten years ahead of me.  I will have another at 60.  Maybe a pink ribbon at 60?… 

I just sent an email to Anonymous Tattoo on Bay Street.  I have no idea how to plan a tattoo appointment.  For the other ones, I was just as a walk-in.  Frankly, I think with my age and my attitude, I deserve a little hand holding so I am going to try and set up a consult and design for my new ink.  My dear friend Emma, who turns 40 the day after I turn 50 is coming with me.  I will draw something and start meditating on it.

Happy Halloween and Reign On! Queen Erica