In or out? Yes or no? Heels or flats? Crown or Tiara?

dh-adjusting-jodis-tiara.jpgqueens-elizabeth-kim-b-georgia.jpgdh-kim-laughs-with-mary.jpgSome binary choice questions imply that there is something wrong with you if you answer a certain way. How does this translate to fear? Lemme tell you.

For example, in your Book Club, everyone may say they adore the latest book by E.L. James. (I do not use the word “novel” to describe the 50 Shades of Gray book because I am a critical like that.) During the discussion you announce that you did not like it at all and did not finish reading it. Life is too short to read books you do not like, you say.   The Book Club members look aghast and one other person, whispers, “Yes. I really did not like it that much either.”

What happens if everyone says they just hated the memoir “Just Kids” by Patti Smith. “No kidding,” you say. “I loved it.” One other member counters, “It was totally disgusting.”

If you are able to feel comfortable with other women commenting on something you personally like, be it heels or flats, then good for you. Most of the time, I like to believe that I am more than happy to share my opinion and others’ differing ideas do not phase me at all.  But what if you have had a bad day?  Or even a bad week? Your hair is all frizzy. The dog threw-up on your new bedspread. Maybe the coach did not let your ten year old play but a 5 measly minutes and and your boss added your name to the clean-up crew after the company picnic. Maybe you have surgery scheduled on a lump somewhere. The nursing home workers told you that your mom had been crying a lot more and MRI you just had for the pain in your hip was diagnosed as sciatic nerve pain caused by poor posture. Maybe you have to have a root canal tomorrow or you just had one yesterday. To top it off, the only swimsuit that fits you anymore has a broken elastic leg hole and now you have to take a day and go shopping for a new one. All of these challenges are stories someone out there can tell.

Mountains of small things might pile on top of you, weighing down your heart and your spirit. The only thing you have had time to schedule is Book Club, but then doubt and unpleasantness may be your reward. A feeling of “Crap ,am I the only one who thinks this way?” could creep in with waves of loneliness and little ripples of isolation. Tiny Hardship after Tiny Hardship can take a toll and even a small judgment can knock you down a peg or two.

Face it.  Being the only one in a room who likes (or dislikes) something is not a  joyous party place to be. I feel strong and powerful being honest and going against the crowd, most of the time, but there are times it also feels lonely. It sort of depends on what else is going on in my life. We all have a story. The story details are constantly changing for all of us.  You never know what others face.

That is what I adore the most about reigning as a royal with the Mint Julep Queens. Through the years we finally have found our code, our mission, our reason to exit. Do you like to dress-up and wear a crown? Every last one of the MJQs will proudly say, “Yes. Of course.” In every other way we are a very diverse group of females, but on this we stand. Give us a rhinestone headpiece, a swishy dress, and a royal wave and Voila`–all is right with the world. In the Mint Julep Queens, the only question you need ask is this- “Do you like wearing a crown?” As our Queen Elizabeth noted, “Why wouldn’t I like it? I am a queen for goodness sakes.” And I promise, everyone agrees. 

Reign on!

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