Disappearing Queen Syndrome
My daughter, Sage observed this morning that people can be very tolerant and understanding of citizens who have disabilities. ”If you are in a wheelchair or have a walker or even have that label “Severe Learning Disability” and you get to work with a instruction specialist to learn how to read, then you get a pass from everyone. Or say, you can’t walk ’cause of the wheel chair, nobody asks you to do the 100-yard dash. But if your difference is mild and not in-your-face obvious, nobody understands.” You see, she has a very mild cerebral palsy that makes her limp a tad when she walks and keeps her from moving her left fingers in fine-motor activities that most folks take for granted. Keyboarding for instance. The home keys A-S-D-F never have her left handing resting one them. She would like to use her left hand, but she never will be able to isolate that movement. It is a waste of breath to say ,”Try harder! Practice! You can do it!” She can’t.
When we Queens get together, we wear tiaras and pretend to be a a real life Royals. It is will alway be a challenge for some, though. Tell them, “Practice! Try harder” does nothing other than annoy them. Try as they might, being a Queen just is not fun—or not darn fun enough. I have figured everybody joins a social group or club for different reasons. Shoot! You might think there is common thread, but it is not always obvious. We all have different paths.
The Mint Julep Queens are presently experiencing a phenomena I will call DQ-S or Disappearing Queen Syndrome. And there is no cure. One founder resigned in a unseemly way. Several kind ladies have bowed out very gracefully due to lack of time, energy and interest . Even more just have not answered emails or announcements and are simply MIA. As if MIA is ever simple. Like, where are they? Do they still live here? Who knows? So amid the exodus and the challenge to my sensibilities, I looked up “how to start a social club” on the Google machine. All the suggestions have been noted, but nothing new was mentioned.
So when a group unravels or dissolves, when friends move or transform into other entities— is it time to rethink social groups, swear-off membership in girls’ groups? Re-brand, re-new, re-tread? After re-examineing the goal, all I think we need to do is practice more tolerance. Leave or stay. Join or not. Crown or abdicate. Be Royal or not. But remember, we all have challenges–some obvious and some subtle. Do not succumb to a fear of fun. And really, it is fine to drop out of any group that does not help you have fun or be a better person.
Reign on!
Queen Erica