Photographs: Hints for Mint Julep Queens and Princesses
The first day of school for my Junior Mint Princesses 2011
If wearing a crown makes everything more fun, maybe they should have donned their tiaras for the day…or at least for a cute picture. As it is, they allowed me to take several cute shots without fussing at me for taking too many pictures. They smiled sweetly and stood up straight. What more can a proud mother ask? Sage even kept her eyes open the whole time. Lucky for me, there was no need to do a flash or that would have not been the case!
There are a few MJQs who still hate having their pictures made. They will avoid the camera at parties and when I look back over the collection of images, they are no where to be seen. In fact, I have come to the realization that if I need a record of who attended a party, I have to come home and write down all the names. Now that the Calendar Project and Membership Directory is beginning, I want to assure each MJQ that we have a professional photographer and I will be glad to help you with the pose and the make-up, so please just re-lax.
Why some folks are scared of a camera is beyond me, so I am training my girls young. IT is merely a machine. It does NOT define your beauty, nor even record the real story! A camera also does not steal your spirit & soul, unless you let it. If you throw up your hands up in front of your face and squeal, “Oh, my God, You are not going to take my picture, are you?! ” You need to learn some little hints to help you get over that fear. (And self loathing..mainly the self loathing.)
When I was in 7th grade, I came home from school with our school pictures (AKA mugshots) in hand hand. I showed them to my mother and started crying. I mean really crying. (Now if you are reading this and you think that these tears was due to some hormonal issues because I was 13, then you need to slap yourself right this second. Go ahead. Do it. Scared? Ok, fine. Just pretend I slapped you, if you have the imagination, which likely you do not. Now you need to realize, some girls cry when they are sad and it is not PMS or hormonal, or in my case, menopausal symptoms. And if by some chance it is magnified by hormones, you best not ever-EVER say that to me, or to any female for that matter. If for ANY reason you continue along this path of blaming tears of sadness on hormones, then I suggest you learn how to live all alone ’cause that is where you will end up. In a trailer park in Port Wentworth eating boxes of Hot Pockets for dinner. All alone. I know. I already said it. And I will say it again. All A-LONE.)
I had tried so hard to wear the right outfit and have my hair just so…and the result? The result was absolutely horrible, homely and yuck. It was way worse that any image I had formed of myself. When I looked in the mirror, I thought I was plain, but I had not thought I was downright ugly, until then. That picture showed just how ugly I was and I told my mother so.
Dear mother, hated her own pictures so she agreed with me, “I hate how I look, too. I always have. I hate my nose and I always take a really bad picture. I am so sorry, honey. It is a bad feeling.” There are next to no photographs of my brother and I with our mother. Throughout our childhood she hid from the camera and complained bitterly that she hated to see herself in pictures.
I am not sure why mother never got her nosed fixed…no really I do know. Lack of money, but mainly lack of self-confidence and lack opportunity. She fell several years ago and actually broke her nose and had a perfect opening to get it fixed and she has kicked herself for not going ahead and doing it. Not a single person said anything like, “You know, it is your choice. It is broken now, so why not neatened it up?” When she half heartedly mentioned to her ENT that she had always hated her nose and how she took horrible pictures because of it, he did not understand. So in a callus fashion he proclaims, ”Why in the world do anything about it now?” In other words, “It is too late for you, old lady!” I wish he was here right now. I would smack him. Or at least smack him verbally. You can imagine how that feels, right?
I learned through many years of experience, education, failure, and success (and a few sessions of therapy to face my own lack of self esteem), I have learned to say, “I ain’t sceered of any ol’ camera.” ANY-body can take a bad picture. AND anybody can look better in pictures!!! If you hate how you look in pictures, do something about it. The lighting is bad. The photographer sucks. The makeup you are using in the wrong color. The pose you tried makes you look like a turkey necked geek. The clothes? Cute on you now, but in a picture? FRUMPY! Take action and practice with a real photographer.
Cameras record the moment and in a flawed alien way. Learn that the camera is not your friend or your enemy. It is your Frien-emy. It can be nice, but it can turn on you any moment. (Plus, it is probably gossipping about you with its friend the Flipshare.) A good image that shows your beauty can be done with good lighting, good makeup, good photo-shopping, and a good photographer. Inner beauty cannot be recorded in an image unless you are a Pulitzer prize winner photojournalist or at least a talented photographer.
In fact, a good photographer can create a story about you that is totally imaginary. Open any women’s magazine and look at one advertisement of one woman. You see what I am talking about? The Perfection of the face. The astounding lack of shadows, lines, blemishes flaws is telling the story…”If you buy this product, you may start to look like this perfect girl.” That kind of physical perfection does not exist.
Cameras are devoid of intent. They do not lie. They do not love. They do not add 10 pounds to anybody. Next time you avoid a photo-op and say, ”No! Do not Take my picture!” Give it a chance. Either practice with and hire a real photographer who knows what they are doing or just re-lax (which is a lot cheaper)! When you are at a party and your friend grabs a camera, stand up straight and smile. Friends are hoping to capture the moment, the fun, the affection, and the joy that they are sharing with you. Let the Royal Fun shine through and it will be a perfect picture!