Lee Ann is a girl next door look type with 4 kids.  I have called her Ninja Mama, but it does not fit her charm.  She attracts attention from men every time we go out.  No matter the place. When I point this out, she rolls her eyes and says, ”But look at the type of guy who hits on me.  That does not make me feel better.” Well, I do agree with her assessment.  But think about it.  Every time we go out it happens. Can it be she is non-intimidating, cute, all-America sweet as apple pie, and funny?  Can it be that?  She assures me that no, she just attracts unsavory characters.   

When we finished her photo shoot at Cha Bella for The Membership Directory last August, the MJQs headed over to the the Pink House for drinks. I am completely freaked by the shoulder to shoulder atmosphere and the Members Only jackets surrounding the bar. 

To tell the truth, the downstairs bar, Planters Tavern can be really quaint and warm.  Frankly, it is down right comforting during the winter with a blazing fire, brick floors, and low exposed beam ceiling.  In August however, it is one step away for being a dank dungeon packed with prisoners (and Queens do not visit dungeons even if they have had someone tossed into one.)  If they serve cool cocktails and play piano in the dungeon, I will sometimes consider a visit, but not when it is over-crowed.  At least this Queen does not…and when I do…it does not work out.

I think the air is bad down here.  There are way too many people here.  Goodness, everybody looks so sweaty.  I smell mold.  Or is it the drains? These people are too loud.  My ears hurt.  I can’t think in this loud place.  The floor looks so dirty. Goodness, my ears are tingling.  I feel headache coming on.  Crap. I need a drink.  It is so dark.  Those glasses look spotty.  That is not mold I smell.  I think I smell rotten fish!  Or sweat.  The germs must love this damp environment.  God, I feel light headed.    Take deep breaths and relax.  There is nothing bad happening here.  Breath and relax.  But the smell!  And the loud echos.  I have to really concentrate to hear .  Oh.  Do not look at that floor. Yuck. Owww, my head.   

The voiceinmyhead starts getting all worked up and when that happens, I gotta go and go fast.  I head upstairs to a more quiet space.  Quiet and calm…with our two more mature Queens Dottie and Glenda.

So anyway, the story of the rat tail guy continues.  From what I was told, he starts flirting with Lee Ann.  And with a big hand flourish and bows he says, “ Would you do me the honor of dance?”   

Lee Ann says, “Gosh, you know, I just sat down and got my drink so I’m going to have to politely decline your offer.” And that he leaves and goes to confer with the pianist.  He re-approached Lee Ann and with another flourish of his hand he asked again, “If I can be so bold as to ask you again to dance.” He informs her that he had specifically requested this song just for her. Upon being queried by Katie as to what song he had requested, he revealed that it was “Misty.”  At which point, Lee Ann took a more direct approach and said something like, “OK, dude, I’m just not going to dance with you.”  

While all this was going on, I was hearing all about the Casey Anthony trial and the judge, by name was being described to me.  Glenda stays home way too much and she was enthralled with the trial and had watched it for days and weeks. 

“I just can’t believe they found her no guilty.  I have been sick about it.  Just sick.” 

At this point, after 20 minutes of jury review by Glenda,  I was starting to get my hearing back and my heart beat was returning to a normal pace.  Kim and Lee Ann appear on cue, as if to save me from another moment of misery, this one brought on by the description of the likely murder of a sweet young girl and the crazy judge who let the murderous mom go.

So for now Queen Lee Ann has a club name, Misty.

I hope she does not Google the Clint Eastwood movie “Play ‘Misty’ for me” and read the plot synopsis on Wikipedia.  If she does, I would bet she will want a new moniker.