Let’s give em’ something to talk about
Why do people gossip? The gossip and fear of people gossiping stops many a fun moment dead in its tracks. I am completely guilty of my fair share of gossip, but in the last 2 years or so, ever since I found a church home and frankly, honey, found a malignant lump in my left breast, my perspective and tolerance for gossip has diminished somewhat.
Now do not get too self righteous. You know you can talk bad about folks just like the next person.
True, voiceinmyhead, I can. The only reason I bring this up is to point out I am beginning to understand it all. I have wise friend who says, “We are all children of the universe.” Whether you have a secular focus or a religious one, we are in competition with each other to be the favorite child. It really is sibling rivalry at its core. If and only if we face that fact and stop the competition will we be free to just be who we are meant to be.
Every single friend I have has someone out there gossiping about them. Nobody is immune. How do you inoculate yourself from that? Do you strive to be perfect by wearing the right clothes, saying the perfect thing at all times, joining the right clubs, sending your children to the right schools. Do you worry that you laugh too loudly, act too silly, or ever put your foot in your mouth? Well then, ask yourself, Do you always think of others, always remembering to be thoughtful and kind. Are you always interesting, polite, generous, forgiving, and loyal. Do you help the down trodden, speak out for justice, and calmly represent everything good and right in the world? If that is your plan to avoid the mean talk behind your back, to avoid anything that might be judged, ( and I mean anything) then let me tell you a little secret. Mother Theresa was a saint and I ain’t no saint and honey, neither are you.
We can try to be better people and we should. We can work at being good children of the universe, but somebody will always talk about you behind your back. No kidding. The very nicest friends I have are targets at times of some mean comments. You (and I) will never ever be adored by all of mankind. You will never be forgiven by every single person you offend or otherwise annoy by your mere taking up space at the table of life. Remember we are all a big family. Brothers and sisters will bicker and complain about each other. I am trying to understand it and with help, move past it.
Let go of the fear that somebody is going to judge you or talk about you, because I promise somebody already is!!! Honestly. They are.
…knowing that if you are kind and honest and do nobody any harm, flouncing about while wearing a tiara and a big green gown just gives people something harmless to talk about, and that is a good thing even if it is at “The Club,” or the Cotillion, for that matter. (An organization my dear husband will never likely be invited to join, due to his wife’s totally outrageous behavior. Oh and here’s some gossip for you. Did you know she kept her MAIDEN name? Yes, honey. She did. It is not like she is from a important Savannah family or anything, so why keep your name? Her daddy was just a teacher, I hear, in Statesboro, Georgia no less. Plus she has a tattoo, God bless her poor, pitiful heart.)
The voicemyhead is being sarcastic now… but there is truth in humor. So do not move through your one and only life in fear that people will start talking about you. They already are. Give them something fun to discuss. Put on rhinestones and chiffon and come on a flounce with the Mint Julep Queens. We are not perfect, but fear not. Just being a Queen makes it all ok.